Category Archives: Knit or Get Off the Pot

I did it! (What?)

One of my life goals is to become a master knitter. There are two ways to do this. One is to hike to the top of a mountain to meet with a knitting guru who will inevitably poke one of my eyes out for insolence, the other is to join TKGA (The Knitting Guild Association), and sign up for the first of three steps to their master knitting program. You have to be a guild member to do this, so I signed up for the whole kit and Caboodle.

I learned about TKGA a long time ago, when I searched for “master knitting program” on some rediculous search engine that was popular during high school – Lycos, I believe.

“Master Knitter” has been on my list since ’97, but only after reading a Knitty article called “Suitable for Framing” did I finally put for the $77 for membership and Level I of the master knitting program. There are other perks to being a TKGA member – Cast On magazine and a secret handshake.

Here’s what I’ll have to do to pass Level I:
Sixteen samples are required to complete this level: three swatches each of ribbing and basic stitches and gauge, increases, decreases, yarn overs and cables. Fourteen questions and one report on blocking also required.

I’m pretty jazzed. Only recently did I learn good blocking (thanks to the iPod cozy design) and my first cable fell from my needles less than two months ago, but that’s just because I’m a lazy knitter. Soon I’ll be a fit and toned superhero.

I’m pretty sure this inducts me into the Masters of the Universe. Wow. Once I get my Masters of Library Science, I’ll be a double master, and a super geek!

Last Friday, I got home from work with the idea that I would spend the evening working on the iPod cozy prototype I’ve been knitting for Kate and Ade. I blocked it (incidentally, the first time I’ve bothered to block anything) and realized that nothing could be done till it dried.

Did I work on the iPod lining? Did I work on the three scarves I have left to knit for Karen, which I really ought to do because she bought the yarn!? NO.

I’ve been thinking about knitting myself a poncho, and for some reason, it hit on Friday. I could not wait any longer to start this project. Casting existing projects aside (no pun inteded), I drove to Joann’s Fabrics in Waukegan to find some Homespun. See, I could have knit this thing out of nicey yarn, but that would be expensive. I’d rather use stupid Lion Brand yarn and only spend $12 on the project.

So here I am, it’s Tuesday, and all I can think about is getting home to the poncho. I don’t know if it will look good, or look good on me, but we all need something to obsess about in life, and since I have a boyfriend, I’m kind of stuck on the knitting thing.

Better than drugs. Better than other guys. Better than porn. Better than America’s Next Top Model (but a close second).

Oh, you’d like to see what this poncho would look like? It looks like this, only with a yarn called Adirondack, described thusly: “dusty greens and mauve recall the distant mountains.”

Creeeeeeeeepy.
There’s just something about a fully knitted Batman costume that just makes me a little creeped out.

I’ll point out for non-knitter the irony of an $8, 000 Aquaman knitted suit, because it cost more than you think for the yarn. I’d frog it and make an afghan though.