Category Archives: Knit or Get Off the Pot

I woke up this morning with the song “Let’s Get It Started” in my head. The chorus only, of course. It’s now 10 a.m. and I am still plagued by it.

I hate Lion Brand Yarn, because they’re so purvasive. I hate them because they created a pattern for the poncho Martha Stewart was wearing when she left prison. I hate them because they send me a newsletter I mostly don’t want.

Somehow, though, I ended up fascinated by a link in their newsletter to the Smithsonian Institute.

There’s nothing like a bad knitting pun, and there is NOTHING like a war poster using a knitting pun.

I really didn’t take a lot of photos this weekend. It just wasn’t that kind of ‘do. The six pictures I did take, referencing mostly the incredible Bloody Mary concoctions, can be found myah. We knit a lot, we talked a lot. We learned how to make polymer clay buttons/toggles/whatsits, and I learned just how much fun it is to run clay through a pasta maker. I could do that all day.

We also made beaded stitch holders – mine is awesome and orange. I have a bunch of bead stuff at home, so I might just use it up by making stitch holders.

Non knitting events included watching half of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, America’s Sweethearts, and Party Girl. The first two movies were chosen because they supposedly had knitting in them. Breakfast at Tiffany’s crapped out halfway through, so we’ll never know, and I watched the whole goddamn multiple-star vehicle that is America’s Sweethearts and missed the knitting scene. (I was knitting.) Party Girl was the third movie shown because I just got it from Amazon on Thursday, and really really wanted to watch it.

After spending quality time with the owner (Leslie) of Crazy Girl Yarn Shop, I’m determined more than ever to some day run a knitting store. You don’t have to be a business person to have a successful venture. If people enjoy themselves, the store will be successful.

This is exactly why I don’t understand how the Knitting Shoppe in Iowa City is still going. Anyway, I’m totally inspired, and now am scheming a way to make library science apply to the organization of yarn.

Is there some sort of grammatical interpretation of this headline that makes sense? Jake? Anyone? Post a comment if I’m an idiot for pointing out that “tyrant’s” is posessing nothing. Is it like Tyr-Ants in the Pants or just an awkward way of saying “tyrant is in his pants”?
These knitters are crazy. It’s much like I’ve read about the ALA conferences – it’s always the quiet ones who get really drunk.

I have deep purple stains on my lips from the cheap-ass wine,
I’m full of pumpkin pie,
and my SWATCHES ARE DONE! I just kept on knitting – like the little proverbial that could.

Overall, the weekend has been fairly low-key and friendly. I always worry that because we only have knitting in common, an extended period of stitch ‘n bitch will end up in random pleasantries and talk of children and grandchildren, which honestly, I find tiring.

The Chicago SnB had its own flavor of disconnection. The knitters were way more intense and really not pleasant. (I’m sure that’s changed, now that the Wicker Park unit has fragmented.)

Here, everyone is from Iowa or living here now, so there’s a deliberate head-on-shoulders attitude that Chicagoans brag about but rural folk really exhibit. The whole weekend has been refreshing because of that. These knitters have good taste (no Red Heart!) but they don’t get hoity-toity about the whole thing. That’s what I need – noncompetitive knitting.

That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a discussion about [edited for content.]

Good God, I’m tired. I’m going to fall asleep before the cops show up. Asleep is an alibi, right?

I’ve been eating too much lately. I’m not talking about seven-meals-a-day-gonna-get-fat, but when I do eat (lunch, at work) I end up with the ginormous portions that make me feel too full like I need to lean back in my chair and rub my belly for a half hour. I don’t like it, but I keep forgetting that I don’t have to eat everything. I never used to have a problem being picky. I blame it on my sig.oth.

OK, so I’m leaving for the weekend to go to a knitting retreat put on by the Crazy Girl Yarn Shop so in my car is a box filled with yarn, needles, reference books, mastery instructions, all the unblocked swatches I’ve knitted so far, two dowels I plan on making into needles while I have access to woodworking tools, and some clothes, I think. I cannot wait to see my mom, and I cannot wait to spend the weekend knitting with her and a bunch of other people who will undoubtedly be able to give me some advice on my mastery stuff.

I called the shop today to see what classes and whatnot there would be this weekend, and she said the consensus was that everyone wanted a loosey-goosey environment, so there will be polymer clay to make buttons and bead stuff to make stitch holders, but not scheduled events. I don’t know if I’ll love that or hate it, but I’m just jazzed that I’ll be there. I doubt there will be any ability to remote blog, since we’re at a camping facility, but then again, I rarely blog on weekends!

I had cable installed yesterday, (if it rots my brain, it rots my brain until August, when I move, Mom) and I spent last watching St. Elmo’s Fire interspersed with snippets of Showgirls during the commercials.

I finished my third swatch. I need to email my mentor and badger her with questions about casting off and blocking, but I’m well on my way to having the first level completed.

Tonight I plan on surprising Jason with a few well-chosen Netflix.

(I got sucked into the Showgirls IMDB listing, and ended up reading that Elizabeth Berkley has different color eyes: right eye is half green and half brown and left eye is green. I know someone else with eyes like that.)

Sometimes, I kind of like it when decisions are made for me. It takes the pressure off choosing an option, and means that I won’t be at fault for what happens.

I’m going to stay in Waukegan for the summer. Yeah, I know, I’ll miss a bunch of good stuff, but who else are you going to run to when you want to go to 6 Flags? Huh? Nobody.

Last night when I got home, I found the most beautiful manila envelope waiting for me. I have the instructions for the master knitter program.

Seriously, I don’t know if you understand how happy this made me. I’m so excited. I danced around my apartment a while, then read the instructions three times. I can’t wait to start. I emailed the Yahoo Group of master knitters-in-progress to ask if anyone wanted to be a mentor and answer the pesky questions I know I’ll have. Even better than that, a couple of Level 1 starters asked if we could have a support group, and talk our way through the whole thing. I’m so excited. That’s the best idea ever. I’m sure I’ll work faster knowing that there are others I am working with, and I won’t be banging my head against the wall because I don’t understand the directions.

Did I mention I’m excited?

This weekend I finished the poncho I decided to make last week. I knew my gauge was off, but the thing ended up being much much longer than necessary. I’m not too worried about it, because I have a six-foot mom who likes ponchos.

This poncho, and the slightly too-large needles I used for it are the reasons I went crazy and purchased the Denise Interchangeable Needle kit. It came in the mail this weekend while I was in Iowa. It’s so pretty. I pet it last night before I went to bed. I’ll soon have the first level’s worth of work to do for the master knitter program, and I will be SET.

Also this weekend my dad helped me make a niddy noddy. They can look much more fancy schmancy than this, but all I really needed was a rudimentary tool for my pursuits. Dad seemed to be impressed that I could chopsaw my way through a 2×4 and leave the marking line.

I think I’m going to take a break from knitting for a couple of weeks, until my masterer kit arrives. (For some reason, I feel this sounds kind of like the real estate tapes referred to in Garden State.)

My plan for THIS week is to ravage the local thrift stores for sweaters that have nicey yarn I can reclaim, especially since I’ll be needing nice yarn to make all these swatches for the mastery.