“How hard is it to bang my girl in the library?”

By on

From the Chambana Craigslist,

“My girlfriend and I have discussed at length about having sex somewhere crazy on campus. We both came up with the library. Anybody know how hard it would be or the best location to go at it? Thanks,

Kyle”

So, my hottt librarians, what do you think? I had previously considered if it would be possible to live in the main stacks for a short period of time (taken from the UIUC urban legend of the PhD student who was between leases for a few months and did just that) but I hadn’t done the research as to what the lowest-used call-number range is. Any suggestions?

  1. Hmmm…not really. But in a related vein (sp?) back in the ‘ol college days (a couple years ago) some students I lived with would streak the library (the main stacks) at finals time every semester. Apparently it was really easy to walk in as a group, undress in a quiet corner and leave the backpacks in a pile, and then silently jog around while studyers glanced up in amazement (with occasional applause). Based on this, I would suggest trying to have sex in a library during finals time…everyone is too shell shocked by the amount of work they have to do to get worked up about anything else! The key is to get dressed and leave as soon as you’re done, so security doesn’t come.

  2. I have a carrel in the stacks on 10 East, and I’ve only once seen anyone else up there. My friend has one down on 3 somewhere, and he’s treating it like his personal bunker. I have NO DOUBT that if these kids (as I assume they’re undergrads) got a Stacks pass, they could find a quiet spot to get it on, and could probably do some post-coital shelf browsing sans pants for a long time before getting caught.

  4. I quoted verbatim. I kind of like the duality of using the euphemism ‘bang’ with an academic institutuion such as the library.

    Also, I think Sans Pants is the best name ever. Band name? URL?

  5. I was on 3 East last week in the 015-016’s and not only was it empty but it was also pitch black…no lights at all in some aisles. Handy for the body conscious OR for skulking away should someone suddenly show up looking for books.

    Also Sans Pants *is* a great name.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.