Category Archives: After-school Special

This was like a bazillion years ago, but I haven’t blogged in so long, I kind of forget how it goes.

So here’s today’s thingie: Straight-A Student Pulled From Class Over Hair Color: School Forbids ‘Distracting’ Hairstyles (There’s a picture.)

She’s this totally cute, smartie girl who can’t have red highlights. I took this as a personal affont. What could possibly be next? Visual distraction is fun. That’s what I say. More fun than stupid boys in my class ripping farts every five minutes in Mr. Ketelsen’s eight grade english class.

Iiiiii mean, ahem, perhaps they should think about what’s distracting and what’s not. *Grumble* Just because it’s a natural function does not make you free to create the loudest possible farts. It was an epidemic during junior high. How did they do that even? I spent all my time learning how to make them silent. (Another superpower.)

After emailing with a friend with an ailing mother, I realized tonight that although I’m not afraid to die (I’m really not, I’m cool with it), I’m terrified of my parents dying. In my book, they’re immortal.

The only thing I can console myself with right now is that I should hope to the high heavens that my kids will want to hang out with me as much as I do with my parents.

I had time today to wander the hot streets of Champaign before learning about Web of Science (it’s a database, yo), and I noticed that the always-closed sushi place was open. I decided that I should aspire to be more like Allison (ev’ry day) so I went in for a tasty lunch while I still had money in my coffer.

Not only was the sushi cheap, but it was good too. All you can quaff miso soup didn’t hurt either. I spent $8 and was gorged by the end.

I seem to be in “meet and greet” mode, so I plunked myself down to a nice fellow named Phillip. He’s an undergrad studying for the summer in the chemical engineering department, and had been to Japan earlier in the summer. We discussed lingal shibboliths. Lovely boy, really.
Good lord. Last night I was drunk enough to become obnoxious. Wow. Sorry all.

On the upside,
I taught newbies to play euchre. So, all in all, I think it balanced out karmically. Maybe.

Oh, Mom, to clarify: I stole a pack of cigarettes from someone in an attempt to keep them from smoking. Not because I smoke cigarettes.

I had time today to wander the hot streets of Champaign before learning about Web of Science (it’s a database, yo), and I noticed that the always-closed sushi place was open. I decided that I should aspire to be more like Allison (ev’ry day) so I went in for a tasty lunch while I still had money in my coffer.

Not only was the sushi cheap, but it was good too. All you can quaff miso soup didn’t hurt either. I spent $8 and was gorged by the end.

I seem to be in “meet and greet” mode, so I plunked myself down to a nice fellow named Phillip. He’s an undergrad studying for the summer in the chemical engineering department, and had been to Japan earlier in the summer. We discussed lingal shibboliths. Lovely boy, really.

Hillary, the new patron saint of superfurry 13-year-old cats, came and decided to take the cat!

The cat has a new home with Hillary and her boyfriend, who will spend the day hanging out with her.

Let’s all take the time to remember the cat.

Ok, now, on with the show! Let’s remember, cats are for outside.

This is what it has come down to: a Craigslist plea. Even though the cat is ever-cute, I’m determined to find her a new home.

Here’s my plan for my last day at work.

Blog.
Read other blogs.
Knit and listen to iPod.
Go for hour-and-a-half lunch, make Steve buy.
Space out.
Crack dirty jokes with Gina.
Leave early.

I will update as needed throughout the day, so you know exactly what I’m not doing.

Well, there it is. The open letter didn’t work. The previous owner of my cat, the one who said that if I ever didn’t want it I should call her and she’d take the cat back, has told me that her husband won’t let her take the cat back.

So, anyone want a cat?

Upsides:
She’s declawed
She’s cuddly
She’s not a kitten
She’s aesthetically pleasing

Downsides:
She’s not a kitten
She’s overly furry
She meows at night unless you have a rolled up sock available for her to carry around like it’s a kitten.

Help!

This photo scares the bejeezus out of me.