An open letter to the previous owner to my cat.

Dear Candy,

I’m sorry. I really thought that when I answered that interoffice ad for a free cat, I would really enjoy having an inside cat. Ironically, if you look at the URL, it turns out that I hate having an inside cat. I grew up on a farm, see, and although I’ve enjoyed having many cats as pets, I’ve never really experienced what it’s like to have a superfurry animal in my carpeted and upholstered home.

I mean, I tried. I liked having a cat but I hate that she’s so furry. Oh, I guess that’s what makes her cute, because those naked cats aren’t fun. Anyway, I have hair on everything I own, and I like wearing black. I feel like a selfish discarding a pet – especially since there’s nothing actually wrong with the cat, other than having a lot of hair that comes off. I mean, every day I brush the cat, and there’s a kitten-sized pile of hair sitting next to the cat.

You said that if I decided that it wouldn’t work out, I should bring the cat back. I know you meant right away, but it’s only been four months. Whadda you say?

Thank you, and see you soon,

p.s. – if Candy doesn’t want her cat back, does anyone else want it?

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