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I think that moving to Canada would be chuss. What we need to do is start a commune. One that uses its members as sweet oxygen to infuse the murky and more murky air we breathe. Not a non-washing, everybody-sleeps-together, only-eat-hummus commune. I'm talking about a hifi-wired, meat-in-the-freezer, Netflix-type of commune. The sharing happens on the intellectual level more than the need to share dietary requirements or dishes. Sharing showers will be permitted. Books will be lent and Scrabble will be played.

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Bubble of warmth, check.
Tensile strength, check.

OK, ready to take on the rest of the country? Great. With good support, this hub can send the humming vibe out and warm the scared, half-frozen hearts of many. We'll begin to move toward a better understanding of our neighbors, our neighboring states, and our neighbouring countries.

<i>Right. I just lost the wind in my sails as I realized that what I really want is a commune of people to hold me like a bean bag chair, stroking my hair and telling me in a hushed tone that everything is fine, everything is fine.</i>
This past week was one of neutral to negative feelings. Sunday I learned that if you don't read/pay attention to/believe small-texted no parking signs,
you'll end up with a very expensive boot on your car. The only legitimate way to park in the Spin Cycle parking lot is to ONLY use the Spin Cycle facilities. If you go next door for a cinnoman roll,
you'll get the boot. It's a stupid rule, praying on those who have parked in other lots with similar signage and never was booted. It was essentially a $115 private parking ticket.

Luckily, mere hours after the event, I was given a mom-hug which righted all in the world.
I'm crushed. I'm lost. I'm teary in my cubicle and I hate everything right now.

The guy who was going to sublet my apartment didn't make it through the application process. That means that IT IS THE MIDDLE OF NOVEMBER AND I AM STUCK WITH THIS STUDIO IN CHICAGO AND STUCK WORKING IN WAUKEGAN, essentially.

I'm so frustrated. I've even considered just not paying rent,
letting it be a blight on my perfect credit history,
and leaving. I hate being tied down. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.

I can't even think about it, or I'll cry.

<i>Addendum: I remembered that a representative from tenant.org had called me after I posted my sublet ad in the Chicago Reader. He said that if I wanted to break my lease, they could help. At the time, I was confident that I would find a subletter and be done with the whole process within a week.

It being two months later, and needing some string of hope to hold on to, I called them today. They charge $300 or half a month's rent, and they have a 99.7% success rate at breaking leases. I'm not sure what they know that I don't, but at this point I just want the whole thing done with. Being out of the lease is even better than having a sublet. I have a meeting tomorrow morning, so I'll know more about the process. The did tell me that I'd be out before the 1st of December.</i>
This morning,
I had an appointment with the Illinois Tenants Union.

It didn't occur to me last night, but as I woke up this morning, I realized that the ITU could be a scam. They reside in a house up on Kimball and Montrose. They wanted me to bring $300 for their services. I might have ended up wearing a ball gag and dancing around to "Mama Mia" if wasn't careful. I consulted my associate.

Jason suggested googling "scam" with their name, and nothing came up. I decided that if I was going to try to get out of my lease legally, I might as well go and see what they had to say. In a true motion of love, Jason went with me (he has jury duty today, and didn't need to be downtown till noon).

As it turns out, pretty much any landlord is doing or not doing something that can lead to you legally breaking your lease. There are all sorts of sticky rules for a landlord to follow, and as a result, the ITU has been able to get people out of their leases in most cases.

Unfortunately, as I am built from cells of sunshine, I felt mildly uncomfortable talking about how we were essentially entering a battle with my landlord. It's so icky.

I do, however, wish to terminate my lease. The details are tedious, but it will be interesting to see what comes from all of this legal crap. The worse case scenario is a lawsuit. Hey, that could be fun.

Truly, this makes me want to curl up in a rural ball and garden for a living. That or go to grad school.
Anyway, today during my drive, I had an instant red-hot memory come out of nowhere and clock me one on the back of the head. A full, bright as day, vivid memory that left me feeling the emotion. I made a face, a kind of surprised grimace, and immediately felt ashamed. It's rare that I have these kinds of in-my-face memories. I must need to purge this one. I'm hoping that I can do so here.

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