He Looked Like Chris Cooper

I have Koufax’s Saturdays Alone stuck in my head, and it’s been that way since I woke up.

Last night I dreamt that I was living with Jason and Jake in a really really big room in a small town somewhere I’ve never been. I drove into the parking lot of our, uh, room and a guy jumped out of nowhere and tried to attack me. I tried running him over, using sweet Grand Turismo-style moves, but he disappeared. I went inside, and he followed me. Dude looked like Chris Cooper and I tried to run away, but I noticed he was trying to rob the place, so I turned around and tried to talk him out of it. I was trying to surreptitiously take a picture of him with my cameraphone, and realized I should call 911.

I’ve never called 911 before, and in my dream, I accidentally hit 944, and I have to redial. When I get an operator, she asks where I am, and that’s when I realize that I don’t know. I mean, I live there, but we must have just moved. I explain that I’m west of the Circuit City, east of the grocery store, and on the south side of the street.

Chris Cooper leaves before I can do anything, and I go find Jason and Jake, asleep on a bed. I’m mad at them for not helping/saving me, but the police come in a brown car and tell me they’ve apprehended a suspect.

That, my friends, is when I woke up.