\n“I’ll have the chicken strip basket and fries.”
\n“Nothing for me.”
\n(waitress leaves)
\n“You can’t not eat! I’m not eating by myself.”
\n“I already ate – I’m just company for you.”
\n“You should totally eat – you’re so skinny anyway. You’re like 90 pounds.”
\n“Yeah, but I’m only five feet tall. You’re the lucky one, you’re tall.”
\n“Whatever, you’re skinny. And last night at the show there was this, like, really short girl down in front and she totally got pinned against the guard rail and they had to, like, rescue her. She was super short. She was like four-eight.”
\n(silence, then same girl speaks)
\n“She was literally a midget.”
\n“Oh my god – I’m so glad I’m not any shorter!”
\n“Yeah, I think anyone shorter than five feet is legally a midget.”
\n“Wow. We’ll I’d better not shrink.”
\n“Why not? You could have a handicapped sticker.”
\n“And park anywhere I want?”
\n(discussion of handicap benefits continues as Jason and I pack up and leave)
\nMuch like the DIY frappuccinos<\/a> from Lifehacker<\/a>,
\n I was pondering how I could indulge my desire for tiramisu.<\/p>\n
I looked around my kitchen,
\n and decided that I could do it, using animal crackers, decaf coffee, and plain yogurt.<\/p>\n
![\"animal](\"http:\/\/landship.sub.jp\/stocktaking\/archives\/animal_crackers_5.jpg\")
\n![\"decaf](\"http:\/\/www.dailytimes.com.pk\/images\/2004\/07\/19\/19_7_2004_coffee.jpg\")
\n![\"plain](\"http:\/\/www.homegrocer.com\/images\/products\/plain%20low%20fat%20web.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
Then I thought about it more, and decided that as much as Food Mcguyver sounds like fun, soggy animal crackers smeared with unsweetened yogurt was just not going to cut it.<\/p>\n
I think animal crackers COULD work, with maybe some actual espresso and some heavy whipping cream.<\/p>\n
I suppose a nice summery snack would be animal crackers, coffee, and fat-free cool-whip. That ought to do. Right?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Overheard last night at Steak ‘N Shake: (two young female voices) “I’ll have the chicken strip basket and fries.” “Nothing for me.” (waitress leaves) “You can’t not eat! I’m not eating by myself.” “I already ate – I’m just company for you.” “You should totally eat – you’re so skinny anyway. You’re like 90 pounds.” […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-404","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-best-idea-ever"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=404"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/404\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=404"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=404"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=404"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}