{"id":107,"date":"2005-03-24T09:57:48","date_gmt":"2005-03-24T15:57:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/archives\/107"},"modified":"2005-03-24T09:57:48","modified_gmt":"2005-03-24T15:57:48","slug":"multi-tasking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/archives\/107","title":{"rendered":"Multi-tasking"},"content":{"rendered":"

A long time ago, my friend Louie Hare<\/a> told me the secret of working at Hyvee<\/a>. He worked there during high school and breaks during college. He said that the most joy he had ever felt was taking a deuce on the clock. He explained that as an hourly employee, the 15 minutes he spent on the terlet at work were justified as nature’s calling and he revelled in knowing that he was being paid to poop.<\/p>\n

I’ve always remembered Louie’s words. At work I will often take what I refer to as a “boy poop” and spend as much time leisurely defecating, with reading material or without.<\/p>\n

Recently, I’ve been brainstorming a way to make sure I floss every day. As a nightly habit, I often forget because I’m too tired, and lazy. It doesn’t make sense to floss in the morning, because I haven’t eaten anything yet. It occurred to me that I ought to floss at work, after lunch. The benefits of daily flossing are aplenty. Flossing at work means that I’m spending that much more time in the loo, and I’m getting paid for it.<\/p>\n

I’ve been work-flossing for about a week, and I’ve noticed that I’ve not missed a day. I think it’s Louie’s perspective on pooping that is gleefully sending me to the ladies room to floss. It’s like I’m a child and I’ve tricked myself into liking it.<\/p>\n

(One thing that I’ve learned in the pooping\/dental care realm is that I can’t handle pooping and brushing my teeth at the same time. I think it’s the combination of minty frothy cleaning action in my mouth, feeling like the opposite of having a good shit. Just in case you were wondering why I don’t floss and poo at the same time.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A long time ago, my friend Louie Hare told me the secret of working at Hyvee. He worked there during high school and breaks during college. He said that the most joy he had ever felt was taking a deuce on the clock. He explained that as an hourly employee, the 15 minutes he spent […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-best-idea-ever"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/outsidecat.com\/wordvehicle\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}